artful dreaming ...

Monday, June 08, 2009

The number of gadgets, gizmos, tchtchotkes, add-ons, stoppers, cork poppers, aerators, chillers, and so on inspired by the simple enjoyment of wine is equaled only by the similar profusion of golf paraphernalia. But the dream of actually making world-class wine has – until now – not been available to the average consumer. Take heart, oh would-be wine barons of the world; your gadget has arrived!

Behold the Artful Winemaker ( Yes my friends, you too can craft that case of Screaming Eagle or Le Montrachet, in the COMFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME! Think you’re too busy? Nah – it only takes 28 days. Bored with that same old Hearty Burgundy? No worries, mate – there are five popular varieties to choose from. Satisfaction guaranteed!

Don’t believe me? Just check out the smiling faces of the happy (and artful) people drinking this home-made plonk! Watch the video if you need more convincing. This is the real deal. If I were you, I’d roll right past the White Zinfandel (c’mon, that’s for losers) and jump into something more global, like Cabernet/Shiraz or Pinot Grigio.

“I was shocked at really how good the wine tasted,” said noted connoisseur Sheri Langer of NY. Well, I’m a little shocked myself, especially after watching the Blind Taste Test Video. Here all these other fools are spending $1200 on a barrel, for crying out loud – not to mention up to $350,000 an acre for vineyard land, a few million on digging caves, and well there’s some presses and tanks and forklifts and such involved here also; let’s face it, this can add up.

I’m going with the Artful Winemaker – just $159.99 FOR A FULL CASE OF FINE WINE! Fred Franzia eat your heart out.

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